On June 17th, I hike Rainbow Mountain in the Cusco region of Peru. I hired a guide upon my friend’s recommendation to not only have someone help me but also inform me about the geology, culture, and environment. My friend stressed the importance of having a guide who will educate on the cultural history of the region. For months before the trip, I was really worried about the higher altitude and lower oxygen levels in the air. In 2018, I was in Puno, Peru visiting Lake Titicaca at an altitude of 14,000 feet. I had symptoms of altitude sickness with headache and nausea; even though I was taking an altitude preventative medication. Hiking Rainbow Mountain was a dream of mine and I was going to make it happen. I prepared with a slow transition to the higher altitudes of the Andes Mountains and gave myself five days to acclimate.
The day arrives and my guide picks me up from my hotel in Cusco at 5 am. Rudy was magic for me that day. I sincerely feel bad for him because the walk was supposed to take an hour starting at 15,000 feet and going up to 17,000 feet. My anxiety disorder kicked in and I spiraled back to the months of worrying; the thin air made me short of breath. Or was it my anxiety? Essentially, Rudy is walking me through mini panic attacks. He would say let’s walk 20 steps and then pause. 20 steps became more and more each time. He built a subtle trust as we hiked up and my anxiousness decreased.
I did not do myself any favors with carrying so much water; as it was heavy. I probably had about 2.5 liters with me and had unloaded another 1.5 liters in the car. The week prior, I was in the Amazon and I allowed myself to get a bit too dehydrated. I struggled that past week, trying to rehydrate and keep up hydration while maintaining my adventures. I wasn’t dehydrated enough to seek medical attention but was on the cusp for a few days. Dehydration does not help combat altitude sickness; so, I carried lots of unnecessary water which added weight.
At one of our many rest points, Rudy just grabs my bag and starts carrying it. He offered earlier in the hike but I, with stubbornness, said I can carry my stuff; it wasn’t his job. Once again, he subtly did this I couldn’t protest.
I don’t even know the time at this point, or if we are on time, but we made it to the first spot in which you can get an iconic picture with the mountain in the background. Rudy points out that the line is halfway up to the highest point. He suggests we try to go all the way to the top and if anything, get in line to get a picture. I didn’t think I would make the top. My silly anxiety and fear of passing out from lower oxygen levels was overtaking me, mentally. Rudy was magic and he got me to the top. A six-year goal was reached! I know it was all in my head because we hiked back without any breaks and I walked along just fine. The mind plays tricks when something feels unknown.
There are people like Pam, Chris, and Marcia who I have named my guides in this journey of cancer. I have to at least try to get an appointment at UW if Pam is going to drive me. Marcia was the first person to know I had breast cancer and stepped up to go with me as a support to the surgeon. Chris, with all her education and experience, could inform me of what report finding meant, action steps in protocols, and treatment options and side effects; anything I could expect. Thanks to Rudy, I remember how empowered he made me feel by my trust in his support. I am going to apply the same trust in my guides, Pam, Chris, and Marcia.
Now, not everyone on this journey is or wants to be a guide. There are plenty of people who are supportive in their own way. I am appreciative and humbled by everyone who is giving a bit of their energy for my healing journey. I had support from hikers up Rainbow Mountain too; superficially a couple from Montevideo, Uruguay. I didn’t ask their name but met them a day earlier on a city tour of Cusco. We were the first three of the group tour to meet at the first stop and had time for the typical traveler's small talk. Usually in Cusco, it involves when are or did you go to Machu Picchu and what are your other plans. Well, we learned we both visited Machu Picchu 2 days earlier and were all hiking Rainbow Mountain the next day.
It is a small world because we crossed paths hiking up. With encouragement, we all wished each other the best. And then, we met again hiking down! I learned the husband made it to the highest point and saw me up there! Essentially, we are all trying to get to the top of the mountain and are cheering each other along. We are happy when others make it and have empathic understanding when someone doesn’t. It is just how their journey went for them that day (not always).
The couple from Montevideo is how I see all those who are supportive. They don’t have to be right next to me, but I know they are cheering and being supportive of me. There is a Ram Dass quote that says, “We are all walking each other home.” I feel this so strongly right now as I move forward with doctor’s appointments, adjusting my business, and changing the course of my life. It may seem lonely in the unknown, but we are just walking each other home.