Today started a bit rocky, like the day before. I had therapy via video and pretty much cried and felt sorry for myself. I am sure it was a bit more productive than me sobbing, but my therapist was great in letting me have my emotions and worry over the unknown of a cancer diagnosis. I include this vulnerable insight because it is the first time I am allowing myself to be upset over my diagnosis. I can cry for myself and have a space in which I won’t spiral into a space of anxious worry.
But within hours, I will be empowered. I ended up sharing my news with a friend named Pam. She is a three-time breast cancer survivor and steps in with advice. First, she tells me about the University of Wisconsin Health Breast Clinic (UW-HBC). She convinces me I need to get a second opinion there because breast healthcare is the primary focus. I hemmed and hawed about because I didn’t want to seem non-compliant or untrusting of my healthcare network. Pam says she will drive me to the appointment. With a statement like that, I at the very least need to try to get an appointment.
Pam texts her oncology/surgeon asking to see me. Within a moment, Dr. Wilke responds to send my name, age, and phone number. At this moment, I felt so empowered to move forward, fiercely. I was still waiting for a consult with my local health network while I got an almost immediate and direct response from a doctor at a much larger healthcare system.
Within hours, I received a phone call and established as a patient with the UW Healthcare system. All I needed now was a referral from my local healthcare network. This is kind of a hiccup for me. My primary care provider retired in May. I wasn’t scheduled to see my new provider for almost five months in December. So, I reached out to the woman’s health doctor who ordered my original mammogram in September 2023, ten months early. I sent an email through the portals and hoped their office would send the referral.
I feel I am being effective in my health by reaching out and establishing a second opinion. The feeling of being contrary or non-compliant is gone because the response time from UW was quick and compassionate. I was doing something and not waiting around for more results.
I also decided to start telling my yoga community. For just this week, those in person. I will reach out individually to those who join the online community. I taught my weekly Slow Flow yoga class. Afterward, I told those who were in person. I started by telling everyone the month prior I climbed Rainbow Mountain in the Ande Mountains of Peru followed by I was diagnosed two days ago with an invasive carcinoma in my left breast. This is another empowering moment in my journey.
Chris, a yogi and retired oncology nurse, knows all the questions to ask. I am relieved because a few weeks prior I had a magnetic resonance imaging (MRI) on both breasts with the spot in question being labeled a 5. When I Googled two weeks prior what a 5 meant, the results were not favorable. At another time, I will address my mindset on this but I want to point out the mental chaos occurring when reading a report when more testing (an actual biopsy) is needed for diagnosis. Even a few weeks ago, I wanted to ask Chris what it all meant. I decided because a biopsy would be the primary diagnosis, I wasn’t going to say or ask anything until I had more information.
I asked if Chris would look at the reports and she said yes. Upon seeing everything, especially the size of the lesion everything was hopeful. The next big hurdle would be the markers on the tumor. According to Chris, those markers would help decipher treatment options. Yes, this is bad news but this was very treatable. Chris immediately had optimism I would be treated, healed, and off on adventures by next summer. I am hopeful too. Thirty-plus years as an oncology nurse, she has seen many people through this journey.
I had one question to ask Chris. The nurse navigator, LeAnn stated I also had the option to not treat. I had to ask Chris why she said this. I was told some women know they have cancer but it isn’t always palpable, they don’t feel systemically ill, and can’t physically notice anything wrong. These women will wait until they see something; oftentimes decreasing potential hopeful outcomes. I agree, I don’t have symptoms but I want to treat this sooner rather than later!