Marica is the first person I told of my cancer diagnosis. She was the only one who knew I was having an MRI and biopsy on a suspicious spot. We were on a walk and Marica was telling me she had a co-worker who would often be on the phone because she was concerned about having breast cancer. She was on the phone a lot making appointments. This co-worker didn’t have cancer but was always worried.
I shared my experience of FHN watching me. I told Marcia I never leave an imagining appointment without knowing the next steps. I may not know the results, but I know when and what the next appointment is required. If I need a 6 or 3-month mammogram/ultrasound, it is scheduled before I leave. My MRI and biopsy were scheduled for different days but were planned before I left. FHN has a nurse navigator who is the point of contact for patients. I share this because if someone is concerned about the next steps; they need to be in a better health network. I never leave an appointment wondering what is next.
At this point, it has been nine months of follow-up appointments and finally, a biopsy was going to happen. I wasn’t happy I needed a biopsy but a bit relieved because while the follow-up appointments are letting me know at least these suspicious spots are being watched; now the tissue can be tested to see what is going on. I am not telling anyone what is going on because I don’t want to feel like I am crying wolf or calling unnecessary attention to myself. Also on a side note, I was listening to a podcast series about women who are in partnerships with narcissistic men who emotionally abuse. As the men are being called out on their behavior, at some point they seem to lie about having a horrible cancer diagnosis to take the pressure off of their bad behavior. I did not want to be that person; calling attention to a health concern testing was still happening.
Regardless of my reasoning for keeping quiet on all of this, I am relieved I have said it out loud. Two other dear friends know only because of a WhatsApp group we have together, but they both live far away and aren’t able to be with me physically. So, when I messaged Marica that it was invasive carcinoma, she asked if she needed to come over. At that time, I didn’t know much and was trying to still process it for myself. However, I did take her up on her offer to go with me to the surgeon’s appointment.
Marcia and I went to the surgeon’s appointment together. One it is nice to have a second set of ears and someone who will advocate for me. It is someone who can vouch I am not making this up. My diagnosis is early and I don’t look or feel sick, so this feels a bit unbelievable. I have someone who is witnessing this insanity as well.
During the appointment with the surgeon, Dr. Barnes does a brilliant job showing where in the breast the cancer is located and explains the markers. I have makers for estrogen and progesterone. This means it is more mature cells and essentially a very common form of breast cancer. In this appointment, we both learned only 10% of breast cancer is genetics and 90% is environmental; meaning it is unknown why there is cancer. I am graded at a 2 out of 3 meaning my cancer is moderately aggressive. I will not have to rush for treatment and have a very good prognosis outcome. All good news.
The next step was to meet with the oncologist at the cancer center. The oncologist will have more insight into treatment. From his point of view as a surgeon, I would need a lumpectomy, cutting the cancer out of the breast. Meeting with the oncologist and factoring in his perspective may require a bigger surgery; but most likely not.
As Marcia and I left Dr. Barnes’ office we both gave each other a big hug in the elevator. A cancer diagnosis was not ideal but the markers on the tumor were a good indicator of treatment possibilities and options. I am grateful I had Marcia with me to take in the information and have another person who heard the same good news as I did. It validated what I heard! Thank you, Marcia, for being with me through the rocky unknown.
Marcia and I are standing next to a sign showing we walked almost to Orangeville and back one day. It is a long story but we walked a total of 16 miles on a whim.