The plan was to meet Leann, Nurse Navigator, at 9 am Monday, July 22nd. She came to the waiting room and we began the walk to her office. Along the way, we made the awkward small talk. She told me she spent the weekend in Texas at a wedding. My biopsy was a week prior. Leann and I made the plan that I would come back in person, no matter what, for the results. There was an option to have a phone call if the results were negative; to which I said no. If i didn’t receive a phone call, then I knew I would be getting bad news. At least I set myself up for hope.
Once in her office, she said she was giving me a copy of the report. I knew this wasn’t good news. Upon looking, it said, invasive carcinoma. I don’t recall if I had a response. What is there to say? What questions do I have? I don’t know what questions to have. I can’t remember what happened next, but I know Leann started getting next steps going for me, seeing the surgeon. She also was trying to help me understand the report. However, not all the information was available yet, like the markers. It was an odd position for Leann, give bad news, but not all the information was back from testing. She also said something I thought odd, that I didn’t have to do anything. It was my choice.
I told Leann, my primary care provider retired in May and I don’t establish with the new one until December. I asked to please not let me fall through the cracks. She reassured me she’d keep an eye on me. By this point, she was able to set up the appointment for the surgeon a week later. As she walked me back to the waiting room, she said dredded this moment all weekend. Becuase in the midst of all the information given to me in her office, she told me she knew on Thursday. I just remember saying, we both got the worst over. She gave me a supportive side hug and told me I can do this.
…..now to tell those who need to know.